Becoming a Better Role Model by Working Less
Disclaimer: the opinions expressed by the author of this article don’t necessarily represent the opinions of NAWA as an organization.
I started my actuarial career after graduating from the University of Wisconsin in 2016 full of excitement and energy about my new job. Having previously interned with this company, I knew that I loved the work, the culture, and the coworkers. However, I also entered the job market with a deep sense of insecurity and a strong need to “prove myself.” I felt this, in part, because I was a woman entering a male-dominated STEM field. I fought this imposter syndrome by working extremely hard: I billed a lot of hours, studied as much as possible, frequently worked late at night and weekends, and generally put everything outside of my career – hobbies, friends, family, and health – off to the side.
It's important that I clarify this was entirely self-imposed; my family, friends, mentors, and colleagues all encouraged me to find a better balance and work less. However, I was driven by a strong desire and need to achieve what I now consider to be superficial measures of success.
I have been extremely fortunate to have great mentors and role models throughout the last seven years, and over time I recognized three very important things:
Sacrificing work / life balance and working long hours generally does not lead to higher performance (and in many cases actually deteriorates performance).
Prioritizing short-term and superficial measures of success (such as promotions, raises, and billable hours targets) over personal interests and goals would likely lead to lower performance over the long-term.
The people who I respect and identify as role models do not sacrifice everything for their career; rather, they have the confidence to identify their own goals and priorities and set boundaries with work and with colleagues.
NAWA’s mission is to “connect and empower women of all backgrounds, races, ethnicities, and life circumstances to be successful in the actuarial profession.” As we continue to work towards this mission, it is important that we all – at every level of the organization or exam process – consider how we can empower women by serving as mentors and role models.
In my opinion, one of the best ways we can act as role models is to establish a healthy work / life balance while also working hard and maintaining strong performance throughout our career. We’ve all heard the debate on whether women can “have it all,” and people continue to argue that it’s not possible. As a result, many women in the workforce may look to others (particularly in leadership and mentorship positions) to provide an answer on whether it is possible. A lack of role models with success and work / life balance may deter women from wanting to pursue more from their career. However, as many of us know, it is possible to do both, and we can serve as examples for both our peers and the next generation.
I have plenty to learn on this topic, and I’m confident I’ll never fully perfect this at any point in my career. However, here are a few pieces of advice based on my experiences and mentorships so far.
Work / life balance is unique. The optimal boundaries and work / life balance vary between individuals and over time. No two people are the same, and every person encounters different challenges. Additionally, circumstances change from year to year and even month to month. I found significant improvement in my performance and attitude toward work when I started defining and tracking my own goals and metrics, rather than relying on others to define them for me.
Health and relationships are crucial. One of the hardest aspects of work / life balance for me has been maintaining healthy habits and relationships consistently. It is too easy to skip a workout, order food delivery, or call my mom tomorrow when an urgent client email comes in at 5:00 PM. I now realize there’s not really a point to a successful career if I don’t have my health or any relationships. Additionally, better health and relationships actually improve my performance as I have more energy and I am more confident at my job.
Short-term and long-term success does not always correlate. I recently received great advice from a mentor pointing out that short-term achievements do not always lead to long-term success. In many cases, the steps we take to maximize short-term success can actually be detrimental to our long-term goals. This mentor encouraged me to identify my long-term priorities and focus on the actions I need to achieve those goals. For example, I now spend more of my time on team and staff development and less time maximizing my billable hours. In some cases, short-term outcomes may be less than optimal, but over time we will achieve more for both ourselves and our organizations.
Values can reduce the never-ending to-do list: One way I’ve cut back on my workload is by first identifying my own values and interests and then saying no to any request that doesn’t fit. A mentor once told me “Everything should be a hell yes or a no.” Every person in a corporate environment will always have some uninteresting but unavoidable tasks, but I suspect that many, if not all, of us could reduce our commitment to these types of tasks by saying no more frequently. After adopting this approach in both my work and my personal life, I’ve been much happier and more excited about my schedule.
It is possible to establish boundaries and still succeed. I expected my work performance to suffer after I started setting boundaries and pursuing activities and hobbies outside of work. However, this never happened. As my billable hours decreased, other areas of my performance improved. Making time for rest, hobbies, and healthy habits allowed me to have better creativity, problem-solving, stress management, and leadership skills.
Most emails aren’t as important as everyone thinks. I’ve occasionally been subject to clients and bosses expressing dissatisfaction because I didn’t respond to an email fast enough. However, looking back on those events a year or so later, they really didn’t matter. Those clients still hire me, and my bosses recognize that the long-term goals drive more value. I encourage everyone to be more comfortable with letting a few things slip in the short-term in the interest of prioritizing the most essential projects and better work / life balance. Ultimately, I think you will find that it’s beneficial for all involved if you make space for meaningful activities at the expense of the noise and “urgent” emails that we all encounter every day.
For anyone interested in exploring this topic further, I’ve found the following books to be extremely helpful and insightful:
Bio: Jessi Kildow is a senior actuarial manager with Milliman in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She graduated from the University of Wisconsin – Madison and obtained her Fellowship with the Society of Actuaries in 2020. She works in a non-traditional actuarial role and is passionate about improving the cost and quality of healthcare in the United States through alternative payment models. Jessi supports the Network of Actuarial Women and Allies (NAWA) through her role on NAWA’s Leadership Council, and volunteers each week with Braven, an organization with a mission to empower promising, underrepresented young people. Outside of her career and volunteer commitments, Jessi enjoys running and hiking with her dog Moose.