NAWA Book Club Pick August 2023: “Dare to Lead” by Brené Brown
Disclaimer: the opinions expressed by the author of this article don’t necessarily represent the opinions of NAWA as an organization.
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
—Theodore Roosevelt
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910
I fell in love with Brené Brown over 10 years ago when her iconic Ted Ex talks on shame and vulnerability blazed the internet (1). Then the Netflix special in 2019 (2). She is so real and down to earth. Why does she feel so real? Because she talks about all the things no one wants to talk about. She, herself, is vulnerable. She gets deep into the corners of everything that is uncomfortable, or embarrassing, or shameful, shall I say. Brené shines light in those corners and gives people tools to do this themselves. She convinces them why they should want to be vulnerable in the first place.
Now, what if you could do this at work? Yes, I said at work. With your coworkers, your boss, their boss, and the team you manage. What if you could manage your people in a way that they bring their authentic selves to the table, every time? Brené shows us how to do this in “Dare to Lead”.
She shows us how to really get to know the folks we work with by understanding the values most important to them. For example, out of Brené ’s big long list of values3, you ask your assistant actuary what she values most and she says, “fun”. “Okay..”, you may think. But now you know that she is willing to work a deadline if there is a celebration at the end, or attend all your meetings for you, if, somehow you can make it fun for her – like taking her out for coffee to summarize. Perhaps she has some ideas for how to liven up those meetings? Now you know.
Learning how to “rumble” (i.e. discuss hard and awkward subjects) the way Brené Brown does is almost like learning a new language, a necessary one. By rephrasing things you really DO want to know, her methods make it so these doors will open up to you.
“Dare to Lead” teaches to be clear and concise. Sugar coating news is not nice, it’s vague. This reminded me of another book the NAWA book club read this year, “Myth of the Nice Girl” by Fran Hauser. She says:
Clear is Kind.
Unclear is Unkind.
I recommend reading this book with the workbook. I enjoyed the Audible, because Brené herself reads it, but be prepared to do some work along the way.
The NAWA book club makes it possible to grow personally and professionally, consistently through out the year. In case you missed it, check out some of the awesome books we read in 2023:
Mindset by Carol Dweck
The Rabbit Factor by Antti Tuomainen
Caste by Isabel Wilkerson
Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu
The Leader's Guide to Unconscious Bias by Pamela Fuller, Mark Murphy, Anne Chow
Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez
Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu
The Myth of the Nice Girl by Fran Hauser
References:
(1) The power of vulnerability
(2) Netflix Special: Brené Brown: The Call to Courage
(3) Dare to Lead List of Values
Additional Resources:
Other NAWA Book Club books:
The Myth of the Nice Girl
The Virtual Revolution: NAWA Book Club — Network of Actuarial Women and Allies (nawaactuaries.org)
